She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize