she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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