don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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