Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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