dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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