id be glad to
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
