woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
