Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
