Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It's blow job season.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
