It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told grandpa to call you daddy
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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