You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
