I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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