I must be too annoying 4 u.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
someone owes me an orgasm
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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