My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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