hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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