butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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