I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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