I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Sext me about skeletons
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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