Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
