Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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