I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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