I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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