my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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