I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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