I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
