you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
