he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
