i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
