just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.