he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????