If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
okay pat passed out under dana's car
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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