I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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