Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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