i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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