When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
