he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize