Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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