my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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