Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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