:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
