bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
