She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize