So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
