I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
