If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
