Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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