I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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