I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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