She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
