he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
