I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
