i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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