I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
