Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
