So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize