I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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